Burials at sea have been done
ever since sailors took to the oceans. Traditionally, the person who died was
wrapped in a piece of sailcloth, weighted down with ballast stones and sent
over the side while the crew observed a moment of silence. While full body
burials are still done, it’s pretty rare these days. Far more common is the
scattering of cremated remains, or ashes. It can provide a wonderful setting
for a goodbye and is certainly more economical than a traditional burial. Of
critical importance is how the boat appears and how the crew behaves.
Ash scatterings are
customarily done over the transom, or stern of the boat as the vessel’s bow is
pointed into the wind. If done on open
waters, it’s advisable not shut the engines down. While certainly quieter, it
can cause the boat to lose steerage and wallow in the swells, possibly causing
seasickness among the passengers.
Often times flower petals are
strewn across the water as the ashes are scattered and it can be quite
beautiful. Rose petals, fresh or dried, are especially beautiful and moving. One
day, during an ash scattering for a large party while also whale watching Monterey,
yellow roses rimmed with scarlet were tossed overboard with the cremains. They floated down into the water like autumn
leaves on a lazy wind.
Occasionally, the water
conditions are right and the ashes disperse slowly, taking on a beautiful
blue-green glow as the deceased settles in to their new home. Over the years,
this part of our business has grown considerably and sharing people’s grief has
become common, if never easier. Each week we’re reminded that if there’s really
justice in life, a parent should never have to bury a child and that lovers
should go together.
Not all of these ceremonies
are fraught with tragedy. We often get to witness great friends gather to send
off a companion in grand style. So it was one day when a group came out on our
boat to scatter what remained of a dear friend’s ashes. The 18th
hole at Pebble Beach golf course got the initial dose
of them the night before. A bottle of Jack Daniels was passed around as each
person dug deep into the plastic container and pulled out a hand’s worth of their
friend, then sent him flying in the wind to settle gently into his new home.
Ash scatterings have become a
significant portion of our boat charter business, along with whale watching. We
learned early on to provide a spotlessly clean vessel, be gracious hosts, not
to interfere with a ceremony, and to never be judgmental over how people choose
to say goodbye to loved ones. Most importantly, we feel that we only have one
chance to do this right for a family. We pass this on to our employees and they
have gotten consistently rave reviews from their passengers.
In choosing a vessel for an
ash scattering, here are some suggestions. Make sure it doesn’t do the double
duty of ash scattering and fishing. No amount of scrubbing will get rid of the
blood, scales and smell. You have every right to inspect the vessel before
contracting for its service. Make sure it is clean and has a current U.S. Coast
Guard certificate of inspection. Make sure the crew is equally clean and that
they’re polite. You’ve got just one chance to do this right.